October 26, 2009 at 4:14 pm (Friends & Family Moments, Me Moments)
I hid myself last week.
It’s almost second nature to hide, to pretend that I am invisible so as to protect myself.
Even when the door opened and smiles greeted me, I folded my arms; so cautious and oh so afraid to be rejected.
Today I wanted to run again.
However I stayed and tried to make some conversations.
I listened, smiled and was amused with the sharing of Monday blues.
After we parted ways, I felt the adult in me grow an inch.
Today, I stayed.
October 15, 2009 at 2:00 pm (Friends & Family Moments)
His eyes was wet with tears. I never saw a man in his 50s cried (at least not so closed up) and this was someone who has been our family friend since before I was even born.
His tears touched something deep in me. I felt humbled standing in front of him, listening to his words and seeing him wipe away his tears with a handkerchief.
For that moment, the tears created an environment of safety for both of us. It was as if ego were stripped and there we stood with stories of hope; of the embracing touch of the Heavenly Father.
It’s not true that true man do not cry. Only a man who is truly secure will be able to have the courage to engage his emotions; even if he risks being vulnerable.
September 24, 2009 at 10:37 pm (Faith Moments, Friends & Family Moments)
If God would lift the veil for just a moment and allow us a glimpse of the ripple effects of our actions and His working, I think we will be amazed. Not only amazed, we will be grateful to see that even the mistakes can bring about positive changes in lives when placed in His hands.
I am humbled.
July 19, 2009 at 7:11 pm (Friends & Family Moments)
Sometimes when people tell me that they love me, I am still surprised. Part of me wants to run, hide and deny it but God’s Spirit gently prompts me: You are loved. It’s safe.
June 6, 2009 at 3:34 pm (Friends & Family Moments)
I was watching Bride Wars last night and I realized how much I miss my girlfriends!
As great as having Gabe in my life, nothing beats having girlfriends whom you can giggle with, chat, shop, do girly stuff, paint your nails, share about the depths of emotions and basically have a good girly time.
I miss the girls!
February 17, 2009 at 10:47 pm (Career Moments, Friends & Family Moments, Me Moments)
I had a bit of a frustrating moment at work today, finding it difficult to fit in more so in a big group. Hence some of the posts for the day. As I went back and forth in my mind regarding my own social inadequacy, I begin to question myself: Why am I allowing other people to define who I am? Why should I be bothered about how I am viewed by other people?
An earlier conversation with Jo over dinner last Saturday also brought to mind the lessons on boundaries. Why should I be afraid of the comments or aloofness perceived from other people? Why can’t just let go of the ‘good’ image and just be myself – following my desires (as long as they are in line with God’s Word), likes or dislikes rather than cowering in fear as if they are the master and keeper of my life.
Boundaries – I am responsible for my emotions, actions and responses and not of other people.
It’s okay. I can stand because the definition of me is God – His love and grace.
If He says I’m okay, who is to argue? *Grin*
Check out the song in Gabe’s blog.
February 17, 2009 at 10:20 pm (Courtship Moments, Friends & Family Moments, Me Moments)
What’s with the crowd that gives me jitters?
What’s this wall between the both of us that prevent the whispers of your heart to reach me?
Why am I afraid to reach out? For fear that I may receive the same sting that was given me a few years back?
Yet in both our holding back, we are closed in this wall of silence. Our words fall like empty bottles on the pavement – loud but meaningless.
Oh Lover of the Souls of Men, draw us past the pretense and mask. As we come face to face with You, may we have the courage to peel the layers of facades and connect on a deeper level. You alone know how our hearts yearn for that. You alone know how lonely it can be when men seem together yet still far apart.
January 7, 2009 at 5:27 pm (Friends & Family Moments)
It’s good to have friends, speaking words in season. When you can’t pray, someone steps in, lifts up your weary body and stands in the gap for you. Thank God for friends like these.
beloved princess, just remember that everytime u engage in a battle… u will win- only because u are in the winning side – Jesus ’s side.. =) whatever ur struggle is… i pray for His strength and grace upon ur life to persevere until u watch Him place ur enemy ( or ur struggles ) under ur feet… and watch the Lord deliver them into ur hands.
Princess, u shall rise above this struggle.. for it shall not have anymore stronghold on u .. for the Lord ur God will be ur only Stronghold.
Lord Jesus, Your word says that You will supply all our needs according to ur glorious riches in Christ… Jesus, I’m asking you to supply and meet all of your precious princess- ellie’s need. Jesus, only u can satisfy her ( her emotional, spiritual, physical, financial needs)… You will also satisfy her ” unmet” needs ( from ppl / things that she has expectation on…. )
Father, i pray in this season, You will show Urself real and tangible to her. and she will see u as her true love… not just a head knowledge but it flows right down to her heart…Let Your presence be a weight in her life that will cause much stability and security… and let this be a start of a brand new season of pursuing u and encountering u on Earth. Just like Enoch, Abraham.. who walk with You on earth.
Thank u Lord for ur faithfulness.. when nothing seem real.. we know You are still real.. and loving. And thank u Lord for hearing our prayers. and i know even right now before we finish praying u have already set ur angels to go before us, and release ur work to accomplish ur will.. and to make Ellie’s crooked path straight.
amen and amen! in the beautiful name of Jesus!hey gal, “this struggles” ( what ever it may represent..) it happens not just to u.. but always remember they happen ” for u”. God promise to give u double for all the trouble that the enemy has caused u. Gal, u will rise above this twise the wisdom, twice the joy, twice the strength and twice the intamacy with God.
i am so beliving this for u!
i can’t wait to see what Jesus has prepared ahead of u.. and how he is making ur crooked places straight.
Thanks Huey Ming for the prayer and encouragement. 
November 25, 2008 at 11:09 am (Faith Moments, Friends & Family Moments, Me Moments)
I can’t remember from where I read this but it may have been from this book, Reaching for the Invisible God by Philip Yancy. Like a magnifying glass, it emphasized this short verse in the Bible: Jesus wept from John 11:35. For a moment, I stopped for awhile; chewing on the meaning of the words and the impact of those words slowly began to dawn on me.
A few weeks earlier, I revisited a memory that I have yet to process emotionally. During the process, I was surprised that I felt so strongly about the incident – the blame, the grief, the anger, the questions - all captured in my writing. For 2 days I cried as if the incident just happened.
Fast forward to today.
As I read the verse, it dawned on me that Jesus was there too during the incident.
He was not only there, He wept.
And I realized He understood and most importantly He cared.
